“Be of good courage. And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord.” –Psalm 31:24
I was faced with a challenge today. A 31day challenge to write 500 words or more…daily. I’m hoping as I take on this challenge my heart will be strengthened. Without fear, editing or need for approval. I used to walk around inspired daily to write. I’d hear a word, see an image, listen to a tune, watch a movie and the connections would flow. Until they didn’t anymore. Wordless. Without direction. It was like silence, deadness, lack and instead of hope and encouragement there was more fear, dread and negativity. With that lack followed discouragement and disappointment. So part of taking on this challenge is discovering my love for words and writing again. Finding inspiration in just the sheer gift of living and being able to press my fingers onto a key board. To stay in courage and be challenged to find inspiration daily. Living each day inspired a new.
“Your courage asked me what am I afraid of…and what I know of love?” –Sara Groves
With this recent downward spiral came the upward inching of the scale. Funny how the emotional, spiritual, mental connection always equates to poundage in my world. I found myself making lofty goals, moving towards extremes turning what should be health and wholeness into a striving goal of reaching and perfectionism. Not gonna do it. No can do. Where does that get me? A dead end no doubt. As I swam the other day with my kickboard and no flippers, it was like I was standing still in the water. What seemed like standing still trying to get to the wall forced me to settle into the lack of movement. When am I going to get there? The contrast with the flippers on; was jet setting to the wall with no real concept of struggle, push or forward propulsion. And if given the two options, the no flipper struggle was way better. It made getting to the wall that much more satisfying.
“You can only lose if you give up” –Joyce Meyer
Pressing on, fighting the good fight, staying in courage is what this choosing life and believing better has been about. Not staying stuck in unbelief and in the rut of not so beneficial choices. In reading the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (book club we need our next date) She talks about courage. How the whole hearted journey is all about courage-“to speak one’s mind by telling all of one’s heart.” To be honest takes a dose of courage. To show up takes a heap of courage. To live in grace, to walk in truth takes a whole buncha courage. After my divorce I started reading Changes that Heal by Dr. Henri Cloud and watching old Felicity episodes to identify in a coming of age sorta way what that can look like in real time. It’s hard to recognize and identify sometimes. In his book Dr. Cloud talks about the keys to growth-grace, truth and redemptive time. Seems like fear rooted in lies would be the opposite of courage. If I don’t have courage, I can’t be honest. If I don’t have courage, I can’t show up and connect. If I don’t have courage, I can’t relate. If I can’t relate, connect or be there or honest…how can I be kind and filled with compassion towards myself or others. So I’ll start with courage. How about you?
“Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as running from it.” –Brene Brown