“She is clothed with strength and dignity.
She laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25
Uncontrollable wailing on the floor. Right down the kindergarten hall. Glass shattered. Fists clenched, gut wrenching, gutteral tears. The world against him and his only defense is to fight his way through. Brows scowled. Suspicion all around. Love has failed him in more ways than one. And the 500 dollar response for the 35 cent problem was because someone took his pencil, or looked at him wrong, or didn’t say what he wanted to hear. Altogether misunderstood. The days events equals a trip home where the consequences are unimaginable or yet another horrifying alternative; continuing to be unknown, unseen, and unwanted.
“Take back my life song…prove I’m alright song” -Rachel Platten
When I told a friend I was working with kids again her comment…
“you know they are the closest to God right?”
And on the days in the middle of saying rhyming words or the walk back to second grade comments are said…
” You know God knows everything…”
“Yesterday I skated for the first time, I kept falling, it hurt, but I kept getting up and now I know how to skate…”
I think my friend might be on to something.
But when the opposite is experienced and the hurt is radiating and you see a child’s spirit being shattered before your eyes…where is their safe place and serenity, the healing balm that will make it all alright or go away, or take them to another place and time where Love truly reigns.
I had read about the spirit of the orphan vs. the spirit of sonship.
The orphan spirit equals defensive, insecure, striving, comparison, jealous, seeking approval, chases counterfit affections and false comforts, driven by guilt, loves the law, love is conditional, suspicious, exposes, accuses, bondage and oppression.
The spirit of sonship lives by the law of love, lives secure, restful, peaceful, joyful, life giving, lives in freedom, affectionate, gentle, fully known, loved, accepted, unites in humility.
I guess to know you are loved, accepted, known and secure gives you the freedom to live full in all the blessings of what being a son or daughter really means. And for some of us maybe that is a process. To know who we really are before we know what we are supposed to do or how we are supposed to be could save us from years of searching and striving.
I would assume each of us longs to be completely whole, healed, and unafraid. Living in complete fullness and laughing at the days ahead. In our humanity the reality of broken places and not yet and almost and wait and see are here in the everyday. Places where our trust and confidence in the One who knows and sees and has our best interest at heart takes precedence over all our fears and failures. He beckons our faith to rest in Him beyond what we see and hear. The One who has been there all along, even back then. The One who wants to take your ashes and give you beauty. Take your heaviness and despair and turn it into joy and singing. The One who hasn’t missed a beat and knows you completely. The One who not only heals, mends, rebuilds and restores but also protects, comforts and avenges. So though I walk away from this school year pleading with what are the next steps. How do I even begin to help in circumstances that seem impossible.
Our play therapist at school has a great banner in her room that says…
“Do the next right thing…”
Help us Lord take those next right steps. Those healing steps. Those moving forward in Your love steps. Those steps that lead to life and living free and full into the purposes you have for us. You are the only One who knows. Take your rightful place in our hearts and help us to believe we are who you say we are as your son or daughter. Help us let go of all the lies that tell us otherwise. In Your Name Jesus, we pray.
I was exposed to Girls on the Run for the first time this year. What an amazing organization. I know I could definitely keep walking through those steps again and again.
I hope as you move into June you keep on stepping through the struggle. Believing truth and knowing who you are, just as you are; loved, accepted and enough.