After a few years of being “settled down” my weight had escalated to the heaviest it had ever been. 264 pounds. I was never a small girl and my weight was always a struggle. The up and down yo-yo game plagued my existence.
Victorious living related to this food struggle seemed like a distant, wishful, stab in the dark. I would start fresh on Monday, only to be bare boned defeated by Wednesday. There was always this road block. There were moments of freedom and victory but they were brief and fleeting at best. I was always either on my way up or on my way down.
At times I blamed it on being half Italian, half Irish…with those genetics overeating and overdrinking was in the blood. But as I continued on in my faith walk, I continued to see how the struggle was stealing my joy, my peace and my song. That I had lost hope and vision and was pulling back from the world and this one life I was given to live.
“Become who you were born to be.” -The Lord of the Rings
I started this journey longing for truth. Even if I never lost a pound, I just wanted to walk in right relationship with food. To learn how to live full without stuffing. For me that had to be moderation. Living within bounds. I couldn’t give up my mom’s homemade sauce and pasta, cheesecake, and a whole host of other good eats. But there had to be limits.
I followed the Weight Watchers plan to give me the boundaries with the intake. I never felt like I was punished at a birthday party. Of course there are tons of growth opportunities as I continue to learn and live, but moving forward in moderation, one day at a time is a gift. More than the mechanics of the weight loss it’s been about learning how to live. How to believe better.
To stay stuck in a pit, with not believing better thoughts is a pretty easy and comfortable place to stay. It’s usually what is known. It takes courage and faith to believe better. Last year my word of the year was COURAGE. I had to have the courage to face this struggle with truth and grace. This year it is FAITH. To have the faith to walk it out. To learn who I am 107 pounds lighter and stay there, in that place of freedom, once and for all. To live free or die.
Through this process I went through the Made to Crave devotional by Lysa Terkeurst which was such a place of daily encouragement. I called my weight loss journey…”Choosing Life and Believing Better.” Because for me the choosing came out of the believing. I hope to be an encouragement as you face your forward faith journey; I hope as your read a piece of my story you find hope to keep taking those steps in a better believing direction in whatever struggle you maybe facing.
“Now you travel along the road of who you think are and who you can be.” -Princess Diaries