Ruts and Guts

In accelerating back to blogging, my encouraging and always present friend assured me…”it doesn’t matter, you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea!” Such a poignant reminder. And that’s ok. Then I saw this sign in the bathroom the very next day..

“I think fate is behind everything…you don’t have to understand, you just have to have faith.”

–Serendipity

I’m grateful for those who decided to come and take a sip. Hopefully it’s not to bitter or tart as you take time to sit awhile. I hope you find a bit of something to add hope, joy and momentum in your own moving forward journey.  So, in the spirit of living in the light, my true confession moment is I haven’t been at my goal in over a year. I know we are all aware that life as we know it exploded before our eyes, but that still doesn’t give me permission to bag the goals and turn contempt inward and eat every emotion under the sun. In talking with my WW leader, she called out an apparent truth in such a non-condemning, unjudgmental, nary a condescension way that my rebel bent could handle. The illumination of stuckness in sameness. She questioned and inquired of my routines, my intakes and offered suggestions that hit me like a ton of bricks. Starting with an encouraging and oh so subtle, “what do you think about maybe trying…”. Aka mixing it up!! Yes, I’ve been doing the exact same thing drudging through the mud in way over a year now. From workouts, to brussel sprouts, I could sleep walk my daily doldrums, mundanes and yawnies. Especially my heaping, I mean Mount Everest topple over, comforting ice cream (with added PB2 and after while came whip cream…and wait for the doozie….. Every. Single. Night. For over a year, maybe even two. Though I still do have my measuring cup in hand (I think more as a pacifier) …I thought I was still somewhat on the right track compared to the damage I’ve known and done.

Her suggestion of all suggestions presented with such eloquence…” maybe you could even give every other night a try?” And that sent my noggin spinning. Empowered me to try and take that risk. Maybe that is something I could give some consideration to. It wasn’t too harsh or extreme. It was a starting place. She didn’t say “oh wow, ice cream every night…you surely have a problem. You’re addicted to sugar…I thought this was behind you. If you don’t change now we are calling the carb police. None of that. Just a suggestion that felt livable and reasonable and I wouldn’t start crying like I was being punished nor would you have to rip it out of my hand as we shared elbows. That felt like grace and freedom. Over this last week, I’ve enjoyed the ice cream frequency and it seemed to even taste better especially as the scale moved in a pleasing and peaceful direction. Which to me still has nothing to do with numbers and everything to do with boundaries and life. Living full and free. It even got me thinking…maybe I could even make this a weekend sorta treat…. I mean, let’s not push-it, but we can just see how it goes!!

“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid” -Serendipity

I was so grateful for the devotional that gave me a reminder about how someone had stayed so stuck in their pain, so clinging to the losses, hurts and wrongs that she ended up living in a van in a friend’s driveway. Though for a brief moment this took me to the great Chris Farley, living in a van down by the river, unfortunately one of the great comedians of all time must have known some pain of his own.

Parked in the driveway, she never went in the house. Never pulled out into the neighborhood. Never going anywhere. Just stuck and frozen inside the van. The same spot day after day. A place meant to come in or go, not permanently stay. What if that parked spot isn’t an actual physical destination at all but where we live in heart, in our mind, in our being and doing. The treating, the relating, the connecting and the caring. Being open to mixing it up and pull out of the driveway, go inside, take a risk or next step. Try something new regardless of the results or outcome. Try it on for size and see if it fits. It’s in the deciding and doing that we live. Being able to leave the past behind and move into something new, not staying parked in our pain, or stuck in the same narratives and patterns that keep us from living our best life. The best version of ourselves.

“You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life.” -The Holiday

After the cup of tea, suggestions and driveway reminder, I ran into my old Zumba instructor who was the face of stepping out for me. I vowed after my first-time trying Zumba years ago to never do Zumba again. It wasn’t me…I was two beats behind; my sister was the dancer and stepping on my feet and looking around to try and catch up just wasn’t working for me. Gimme goalie pads or boxing gloves. But this instructor made the difference. He empowered, he made it feel less threatening and he welcomed everyone regardless of rhythm or ability or stage show glam. Sometimes it’s the people and their presentation that can make all the difference in believing better, helping us take that next step out of our comfort zones. Coming along side with an idea or a better word. When we’re open enough to receive suggestions or try something on to see if it’s a good fit or better combo this time around. Could it be fun or enjoyable? Could you meet some cool people along the way? Stretch your limits and perceptions? Perhaps learn something new about yourself? Grow your talents and purpose? That again feels like grace and freedom.

The thing about trains…It doesn’t matter where they’re going. What matters is deciding to get on…believe.” -The Polar Express

Thank you Kara at the close of this week for sharing your holiday quotes with me. I loved this one from Polar Express and didn’t remember it from the movie. Whether it’s driveways and backing out, taking some time to rest inside the house, deciding to get on the train or tweaking a routine, I hope you discover some newness this week. Whether in empowering suggestions, learning opportunities or openness to take a step, whatever it may be, may you give it all you’ve got, with the guts to try and maybe even see some glory. May you find the security and confidence in the risking to be your own cup of tea. I think there is a commercial about loving the skin you’re in, maybe we could all be more open to doing that a little better this week! Until next time…keep on believing better and choosing life!

Love and Hugs,

Kristina Adele

“The Greeks didn’t write obituaries, they asked one question…did they have passion?” -Serendipity