Wait Patiently-Kara’s Hope

“After all the things we’ve been through…” -Colbie Caillat

I’m sure we can all relate to those moments when things aren’t happening according to our agenda. The pace is a step behind our preference or choosing. Waiting our turn, waiting for the dilly dallers, waiting for the answer, the next step, the end result. After coming off of a week of being sick, a strained achilles, working the weekend and a few doors slammed in my face; my patience was lacking all over the place. I was grateful for my friend Kara who was willing to share a piece of her believing better and choosing life journey and it just so happens to be all about patience. A good dose and reminder if you find yourself sailing along in the same lacking boat now and again.

 “Why is patience so important? Because it makes us pay attention.” -Paulo Coelho

Patience waits…Love is patient. I would have never guessed that this would be a real struggle for her, with factual reasons to support. Goes to show you, never assume. I had worked with her when she was a case manager so in my mind she oozed patience and poise. Waiting on call backs from families, placements, insurance companies, waiting on paperwork from people like me, walking families through the toughest fights of their life, being patient with every step. Never looking hot or bothered under the collar or the least bit irritated. On top of that she is also a marathon runner. The patience and perseverance it takes to finish 26 miles, I can’t even imagine. Patient with your body. Your training. And each forward step. I love my cousin’s husband’s response when I asked if he also ran marathons like my cousin and he said “I get bored driving 13 miles why would I ever want to run that?” Good reminder of the patience and fortitude it takes to go that distance! As I read her story, I was challenged, encouraged and lifted up to choose life and believe better in my forward faith journey. I hope you will be as well…

“Hold up…wait a minute…”

“Love is patient, love is kind…” Originally, this piece was going to be about my son, and what I’ve learned from him.  Kai is an amazing little boy with a light-up-the-room smile. He’s overcome so many obstacles and I couldn’t be a prouder momma. And maybe someday I’ll share his story. But for today, here’s my story (in under 500 words Kristina!): Thinking about Kai’s journey led me to thinking about the word patience, and what it means to me.

Patience is something I’ve struggled with my whole life.

I remember as a kid, I couldn’t grow up fast enough. I wanted so badly to be old enough to drive, old enough to go to college, etc, etc. My dad would tell me, “slow down, enjoy being a kid!”  But I didn’t listen. Too intent on getting to that next place, that next level, I constantly dreamed about the fun, fabulous life I was going to have, while not really being present in the one I already had.

Until I was fifteen and my dad died of pancreatic cancer.

Then my impatience took a backseat to my anger. I was SO angry, and my anger was directed at God. How could He do this?  My dad was such a wonderful man, why would God let him suffer so and then take him from us?  I (from a devoutly Catholic family, who had watched my father host Bible study groups in our home), in my anger, turned away from God.  I stopped praying, stopped believing, shunning anything remotely spiritual. My anger at God was overwhelming. But God is love, and God was patient with me. He waited for me to come back to him. He watched from the sidelines when I was in college, nodding approvingly when I took a class on spirituality.  Slowly I dipped my toes back into examining my beliefs, and I started praying again. All the while, God waited for me. Then God sent me Jeremy, my now-husband. This man, among his other strengths, is the most kind, patient person I’ve ever known.  He shows me everyday how to slow down, wait, savor.

Love is patient, love is kind. Eventually, I found my way back to God completely.  I’m no longer angry at Him.  I know He loves me, and that He has a plan for me and my family. I still struggle with being a patient person, especially during a rough day with my son.  Recently, I realized that on days when I am most frustrated, it’s because I let my impatience get the best of me.  I’m anxiously looking ahead to the day when my son can dress himself independently, can communicate effectively, etc. And while these goals are important, they shouldn’t define the success of the day. Our success as a family is defined by the love and laughter we create everyday.  If I stay in the moment and stay patient, the frustration melts away. Some days this is easier than others, because I’m definitely not perfect.  Thankfully,  God was patient with me, and now I am learning how to be patient with others.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Thank you so much Kara for your transparency and sharing a piece of your forward faith journey. An inspiration and encouragement you are on many levels. On those days I am lacking in patience, I will come back and read your story. I am grateful for your friendship that has always been patient with me, encouraged me, and now has convinced me that I too can do my first half marathon. All those races I left you hanging back in the not believing better day; yet you kept telling me I could do it. Grateful we’ll be able to cross the finish line together. Daily moving forward in love and patience; hope and perseverance. Choosing life and believing better. Thank you for the reminder that God is so patient with us. Never leaving us or forsaking us. Waiting for us to come around to His goodness, His peace, His unfailing love. Choosing out of His love. Always persevering and hoping that we’ll choose His best. Thank you for the reminder to live full and to love fully, patiently, hopefully and radiantly, one grace filled moment at a time.

“Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself.” -St. Francis De Sales

Happy almost summer friends! Cheers to ice packs, ace wraps, races and the World Cup!! Thought of all my Italian soccer playing relatives last night…Good one! I also would love to be encouraged by your choosing life and believing better journey. Today I was reminded as I treated patients way younger than me;  we never know what tomorrow may bring. If you feel so moved, please share under contact a piece of how you are choosing better and moving forward. I’d be honored to share hope in the midst of whatever struggle you may have faced or may currently be walking and choosing through. Your story, your choosing, your hope could make that difference in someone else’s forward journey. Thanks for considering!